Sunday, August 6, 2023

Learning to Live



Why do we build up kingdoms here on earth?  We gather things and surround ourselves with them as if they give us a sense of value or purpose.  We even have boxes of goods piled up for that rare occasion we may decide to use them.  

We hang onto hobby items and partially finished crafts that haven't been touched for years and tell ourselves that maybe, MAYBE, we may pick it up again.  

Collections of trinkets that tell us, and others, where we have been in our lives.  And for what purpose does it serve?  Do we not have the memories?  Do we need these items to remember? Or do we have them so we don't forget? 

And books!  We gather collections in hopes that we or our children might read them and enjoy them, but in reality they sit on shelves untouched.  The collections of non-fiction that you intended to use as your own library, perhaps to limit the excursions to town, or to have in case things got so bad your kids wouldn't need a public library, but would have their own.  Or perhaps you have them because you hoped your children would desire to have books read to them in the evening? 

Games and puzzles that sit in cupboards with barely a quarter of them even being touched.  Purchased for entertainment, but rarely touched because playing games is such an inconvenience to the life we would rather live. 

The list goes on, but the question is this:

Who gets to figure out what to do with it when you are gone?  Whose burden does it become?  And is that person able to deal with that load on their shoulders?

These things stress me out.  

There is an online auction that pops up in my Facebook feed.  I often look through the photos and ponder the collection of items as well as the person that left them behind.  Do you think that person ever considered who would deal with the shelves and hutches of china and collectibles? Does any of the furniture in the home hold value without the person sitting in them, that no longer exists? 

I don't want my kids to have boxes and piles of things to go through when I die.  I don't want that burden on them.  I don't want them to be stressed out any more than necessary.  Nor my husband for that matter!  And I don't want the burden of dealing with his stuff either.  Some things are easy enough to get rid of, but the quantity of stuff we collect?  Why?

Do I need all the books I have on the shelves? Do I need vintage books simply because they are old and history fascinates me?  Old things bring me joy? Goodness!  I can go to a museum for that!  Do I need all these history books when there isn't a child in my home that enjoys history like me?  (Seriously, I am reading a 100 year old history book for leisure!) 

I ponder why we have things, like the 100 year old clock on the wall that isn't working. The cuckoo clock in a box downstairs that hasn't been working for decades. Old Bibles, too worn to use...old furniture that sits and collects dust simply because it is old.  When do we say "enough is enough"? 

We have bigger houses to accommodate stuff we don't use.  Extra rooms in the home are filled with items of no importance for the "just in case" syndrome we carry around in the back of our minds.  Why do I have all these curtains? Just in case the blinds fall off the windows.  Why do I have all these doilies? Just in case I might want to put them under something. Why do I have a butter churn? Just in case I want to milk a cow and make butter. If the answer is "just in case", then we probably don't need it.  

When will we be content with the bare minimum and learn to live?  Perhaps the better option is to enjoy it for a season and pass it along to the next person interested. Free yourself from the burden of materialism. 


3 comments:

  1. Yep, in most cases, I am finding that it is the memories. As we get older and family is far away, it is a lonely life, and using something, holding it, reading it, playing it, brings the warmth of the memory of those days gone by with loved ones. make no mistake, as much as we would love to have the children, grandchildren, parents etc., when they are gone from either passing away or moving on, they do not come back, they do not call, they do not care about those left behind as they now have their own lives to live and memories for the younger generation are just not the same. The values of the younger generation are not the same, They may proclaim to miss us, but their lives are just too busy to make time for us. So yes, I do have a lot of things around me, yes someone will have to deal with it when I am gone, but for now, I will keep the things that I enjoy for the memories or the activity or enjoyment they do provide me, even if it is just once in awhile, or even if it is just by seeing them. Do I need the pictures of ancestors on the wall? No but they provide a warmth or memories every time I see them of the years we spent with my Great Grampa, of his laughter, his love, his kindness and caring for us. There are many things I dont need and many things that I sort through ovefr the years and pass on or get rid of. Do my kids need anything I have given them? Probably not, they don't hold the same memories. The telephone stand that was my great grandmas? nope, you never even knew here, but even now when I think of it, it brings back the warmth of the memories of spending time at her house, sitting in the chair, talking on the phone, being surrounded by their love. Do I need a spoon collection? No but when I go through them and see the ones from kids who traveled to foreign countries and tookt he time to buy me something special, then it is one more memory for me to cherish. Sadly as we get older our memories often harder to hold onto without actual objects or pictures to prompt them. And even more sadly, we are lonely and need those items to prompt those memories to remember those happy times and those loving times instead of the hard times we are living through. That is my take on it. But yes, enjoy it while it brings joy and then pass it on, is a good plan. Also, marrying someone who does not care about stuff, is another good plan. When you are gone, they will just haul it to the goodwill!

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    1. I found it! I finally Googled how to fix the "reply" problem. Now I have it.

      I agree with what you say. l remember the telephone stand being in Great Gramma's house even if it was her mother's. That is why I like it. And the old rocker, too! I like having these old things because it tells me that I don't want big, fine, and fancy. My predicament is where to put them? You know? I thought about putting the phone stand by the door to charge cell phones and have a cell phone station. Mine would be the only one there.

      I want to put my spoon racks back up, but glass is broken in two of them. I have even thought about putting the small knick-knack shelf up. (I know I spelled that wrong.) The other day, I was going through the box of souvenirs and pulled out a few things. I even searched for a clock repair shop to get my cuckoo clock repaired. But I suppose simply hanging it on the wall to remember Germany is better than it sitting in a box.

      I know you are lonely. I think my biggest problem is I don't like driving. I get scared driving, not sure why. I'm planning a trip out there, but I don't know when because I have my 12 week treatment for chiropractic care.

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  2. I feel this. We have always lived in a very small place for the size of our family, and our last home was 2600 sqft. That felt ENORMOUS for us, and yet we did fill it up over the course of 8.5 years. Now we're in 3,000 sqft with barns and a huge garage, and the packing/moving process made me want to get a dumpster and just through 3/4's of it away. If I don't use it at least once every year, I want it gone. Even with more space it feels overwhelming. I just want everything gone that we don't use all the time. Except books. I sure do love books. LOL

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